Confusing? Good. It’s supposed to be. That’s the nature of flashbacks—they tend to barge into one’s brain at inopportune times. But be careful not to skip past this introduction too quickly, though, because it’s quite important.

For starters, the introduction sets up the structure of the entire story. The reader may notice that the book subsequently breaks into two sections, “Before” and “After.” This hints at where in the storyline the introductory piece belongs and to what event it will eventually refer. The line, “I wrote them down so I wouldn’t have to,” alludes to the format of the remainder of the book, which is a series of journal entries that step through the story in real- or almost-real-time. Our narrator, True Believer, spends the rest of the book answering that first, pivotal question, “How did I get here?”

Secondly, this fragmentary account is a visceral leap into the world of faith healing, sights, sounds, smells, and all. It is meant to create a sense of confusion and foreboding that contrasts starkly with the innocence and exuberance of True Believer’s first journal entry.

Finally, the introduction pulls True Believer’s critical turning point from the middle of the story and serves it up in italics on the very first page. Surprise! However, this is something that only the savviest reader may be able to identify from the start. All others must read on to understand what this turning-point means and why it’s critical.

In summary, dear reader, I urge you to keep this brief introduction in the back of your mind as you continue through the story. It will prove a key piece of the puzzle later on.

Before I dive into the discussion of The Book of True Believer chapter by chapter, I’d like to address the process and context of this book as well as some objections that it’s raised so far.

First, a bit about the writing process: to say that this effort was three years in the making would be an understatement. It may have taken three years to write, publish, and then revisit The Book of True Believer, but this story is, in fact, more than a finite work of fiction. It represents a painstaking evolution, an ongoing journey of discovery, and an epic battle against personal demons. It draws on philosophy, ideology, and experiences that were/are a lifetime in the making. This story did not begin with its first words, nor does it end with its last; it’s a segment, a snapshot, of one of life’s many trajectories. The ideas and the narrative style contained within this book will continue to evolve and be refined beyond anything I could imagine at the time of its writing.

As to the social context of The Book of True Believer: in tandem with True Believer’s story arc, I began writing the book during a period of hope and exuberance (Spring 2018). I revised it during an era of great social and political unrest (the Covid-19 pandemic, Black Lives Matter protests, US Presidential race) and finished it in time to collapse in a frazzled heap with—literally—the rest of the world in the Fall of 2020. The atmosphere of the time influenced the story as I wrote it. Keep this in mind as you go along.

I figure some readers probably aren’t ready for this book. It’s not the easiest read, and let’s face it—to date, we’re all exhausted (myself included). We’re recovering from the trauma of global upheaval. We want to put our feet up, binge a sitcom, disappear into a video game, or pick up a juicy romance novel and escape from the reality of life for a bit. And that’s okay. I understand. That’s why I give you this warning: The Book of True Believer may not be for you. It is not a day at the beach. At times, the story is cheery and feel-good, but that’s ultimately not the point. The point is to make the reader think, dig deep, and ask hard questions. Questions like: What are the powers and limitations of faith? What are the responsibilities of a good leader? How does one resolve a conflict between her heart and conscience?

As some early readers have commented, the style of this book is “flowery” and “at times leaves one wishing the author would just get to the point.” Well. As the title of this post says, this book is a journey, not a destination. The tale is told firsthand by an imaginative, idealistic dreamer with a penchant for gardening. Of course, her narrative will meander through the flowery fields—that’s the nature of our narrator! She’s fanciful, emotional, and even melodramatic. Hint: these are some of the main characteristics that make True an ideal “true believer,” as her pseudonym implies. Rest assured, True has important points to make throughout her story; in most cases, she takes her time getting there and trusts the reader to discern them. Fortunately, I (Ms. Author) am here to help you flesh them out. However, if you find flowery prose or extended metaphors aggravating from the get-go, then The Book of True Believer may not be for you.

Now that I’ve taken pains explaining why not to read The Book of True Believer, the questions remain: Why read it? What’s it to you? Let’s break this down into bullet points:

• If you’ve ever wondered how it’s possible for a person to completely “buy” into a cult, fascist political regime, or narcissistic-abusive relationship, this book is for you. This story takes a firsthand look at the psychology–and most importantly, the emotional dynamics–that underpin so extreme and unwavering a level of faith-based loyalty.
• If you are curious about the weird and mystical world of faith healing, this book is for you. The faith healing scenes and characters in this book are all based on extensive research. Though historical names and events have been thoroughly remixed, there’s really very little made-up stuff here. They say truth is stranger than fiction—and boy, is that ever right.
• If you are an Empath, an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), an Introvert, or an otherwise kind, creative, and sensitive soul, this book is for you. It’s written from the perspective of an empathic woman who earnestly wishes to save the world. It addresses the blessings and pitfalls of being a sensitive person and includes several lessons on how to protect one’s sensitivity without having to harden her heart.
• If you are NOT an Empath, an HSP, or an Introvert, this book is for you. You probably have several of these people in your life. At times, you may find them hard to understand. Let this book be a window into the way they think and feel. It certainly can’t hurt for us all to endeavor to understand each other better.
• If you love to dive deep, this book is for you. Get ready to explore symbols and themes and to navigate through gray areas of good and evil. See if you can pick out the interwoven threads of wisdom from ancient philosophers such as Sun Tzu (The Art of War) and Niccolo Machiavelli (The Prince).

Still with me? Great. Welcome once again (officially) to The Book of True Believer Read-a-Long. Without further ado, let’s get started.